Ramona Flowers vs The Timewarp
by ApellaZant
Summary: Neil Nordegraf and Scott Pilgrim have a dream... to connect every video game system known to man. But when the resulting contraption blows a hole in the space time continuum and sucks Ramona through, will she be able to fight back to the people she loves?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own the Scott Pilgrim story or any of the characters mentioned in this story. All original characters and lines belong to Bryan Lee O'Malley. This story is for entertainment purposes only. Any similarity to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Also, if it has not already been made clear, I respect fan fiction as a great form of expression and creativity. Just remember that…

A/N: The sabbatical is over! Time to start another Scott Pilgrim fan fiction. I have not yet decided if this one belongs in the same continuity as my other ones (probably not, as the story is almost too outlandish). Hopefully though, this will provide some enjoyment. I know I'm going to enjoy writing it, if only because I get to once again write long fight sequences, and we all know that's what I'm best at. :-D So… without further ado…

Ramona Flowers vs. The Timewarp **(Apella Zant Note: No... not the dance)**

Chapter 1

"I really don't know if this is such a good idea."

Ramona Flowers **(Status: Hoping her boyfriend doesn't end up electrocuted… or worse…)** watched as Scott Pilgrim **(Status: Not only ready to hook up this contraption of epicness… but also SO ready to be the hero of another ApellaZant story)** bustled from one side of his small living room to the other. Usually, the room was mostly empty, but at the moment, it was crowded with electrical equipment.

"I mean… why do you NEED every game system known to man hooked to one television?" Ramona asked, her eyes following Scott around the room.

Scott stopped for a moment. Then he looked back at Ramona and shrugged his shoulders. "Because it's awesome?" he replied.

Ramona rolled her eyes, but didn't have time to press her exasperation on Scott, as Neil Nordegraf **(Status: That's right… NO LONGER Young Neil… NEVER AGAIN! HAHAHA!)** bounded through the door, holding a Dreamcast high in the air.

"I found it!" he yelled.

Following closely behind him, arms folded, was Stacey Pilgrim **(Relationship: Sister to Scott, Girlfriend to Neil… friend of Ramona's, but not that kind of friend!)**. As Neil and Scott looked over the mass of video game systems, looking for a place to put the Dreamcast, she joined Ramona in the corner of the room.

"This is… there aren't words," she sighed.

"How do two slackers even have the money for all of this?" Ramona asked.

"Here!" Scott pointed to a small area of space. "We can put it right between the Famicom and the Xbox! It'll fit, right?"

"You bet!" Neil answered as he began busily hooking cables to the Dreamcast.

"Seriously… this thing is a fire hazard," Ramona said as she inspected the pile of video games **(Ramona Flowers Note: They have a Gameboy Advance? How did they hook a Gameboy Advance to the television?)**.

Scott wasn't paying attention though. He was busily turning on all of the systems, one by one. The NES… the Super NES… the Playstation… the Sega CD… on he went turning each system on in turn.

Stacey looked on in horror. "Okay… the fact that you have them all connected to the television is okay, but why in the world would you want to turn them all on at once?" she questioned.

"We just want to see what'll happen," Neil answered her, joining Scott in turning on machines.

"What do you think will happen?" Stacey demanded. "Do you think it's gonna rip some hole in the space time continuum or something?"

"Actually, I think this'll just make the electric bill impossible to pay this month," Ramona added as she walked over toward Neil.

"Hey Ramona!" Scott said **(Scott Pilgrim Note: Obviously doesn't care about his electric bill)**. "You wanna do the honors?"

"Honors for what?" Ramona replied.

"Turn on the last system," Neil answered. He pointed to the Dreamcast, the only console in the mass of electronics that wasn't humming to life.

Ramona thought for a moment. "If I do that… will you please take all of this apart and choose ONE game system to play at a time… I'd even settle for two."

Scott and Neil looked at each other in disappointment, but slowly nodded.

"Okay… so how do you turn this thing on?" Ramona began examining the Dreamcast. It didn't take her very long at all to find the power button **(Ramona Flowers Note: I may not know video games well… but I can at least turn the crap on!)**. She pushed it and the Dreamcast began whirring.

Ramona then turned back and smiled at Scott, but his smile faded almost as soon as she found it.

"Wait… oh no... what have we done?" he pleaded.

Ramona glanced around her. The machines were all running, and all of them were beginning to take on an otherworldly glow. Sparks began to fly around her. She looked again in panic at Scott and Neil. Stacey yelled for her to get away.

Then the world went white. Something pulled Ramona backwards so hard it knocked the air out of her, and then everything went black…

…

"Ungh…" Ramona groaned as feeling came back to her. There was a pain in her ribs, where it felt like she'd been smacked by a truck. As she opened her eyes, she blinked at the sudden brightness. Somehow, she'd ended up outside. She slowly turned over on the asphalt, for the moment just glad she could feel something on her hands again.

"What happened?" she asked no one in particular.

A vaguely familiar voice answered her. "You look like hell, Rammy…"

Ramona slowly turned her head toward the voice. She couldn't make out the face behind it. Her eyes were still adjusting to the bright sun she'd been thrown into. In fact… she thought she remembered it being cloudy when she'd gone to Scott's apartment… and it had been July, which was contradicted by the coldness of the asphalt under her hands.

Finally, Ramona could make out a silouehette. The form was feminine… short **(Ramona Flowers Note: Maybe a bit chubby?)**… hair up in pigtails…

Ramona's eyes grew wider as more recognizable features came into view. Blonde hair… black eye makeup… black hoodie….

"R… Roxie?" Ramona gasped.

"Glad it didn't take you three guesses," Roxie answered as she knelt down next to Ramona.

"But… but..." Panic was creeping into Ramona's voice. It was impossible. She'd seen Roxie killed, by Scott… so how was she…

"How am I alive?" Roxie answered her unspoken question. "I'm not."

"So… am I…" Ramona started another question.

"Are you dead?" Roxie raised an eyebrow. "No… you're not, despite that goof's best efforts."

"So… where am I?" Ramona asked sleepily.

Roxie scoffed. "He must be rubbing off on you or something… you're still in Toronto," she answered. "That's not the question we're worried about…"

Ramona sat up stiffly. Her ribs protested every time she moved, but the pain was slowly beginning to dull. "What do you mean?"

Roxie stood up and once again her face was masked by the light coming from behind her **(Ramona Flowers Note: That's Roxie for ya… always dramatic)**. "The question isn't where you are… it's WHEN."

Ramona's eyes popped open. "When?"

"I don't know how… but it looks like your little boyfriend managed to tear a hole in the space time continuum **(Stacey Pilgrim Note: See? I knew it was a bad idea!)**. And somehow… YOU got thrown through it," Roxie answered.

"So why are you here?" Ramona said as she began to cautiously get up. She knew, if a fight was coming, it would be better if she was standing for it.

"How should I know?" Roxie replied. "You'll have to ask the author, but I figure I'm here because I'm the only ex that wouldn't kill you on sight after the hell you put us through."

"Why wouldn't it be any of my friends?" Ramona asked. "Why would it be you?"

"You don't have any friends, Rammy," Roxie said with just a hint of a smile. "I just said you traveled back in time. You haven't met your friends yet."

"Well then… why don't I just go meet them?" Ramona said.

Roxie grimaced. "I'm afraid it's not like that…"

"No… it isn't," Ramona replied, now starting to steel up her nerve. "I'm dreaming… I have to be. There's no way a bunch of video game systems sent me back in time, but even if they did, I'm not taking help from you. I'll go find Kim… or Stephen **(Scott Pilgrim Note: …Stills… and why am I not the hero of this story? WHY APELLA ZANT?)**… not you. You'd love nothing better than to see me and Scott apart."

Ramona turned on her heel and almost knocked into another woman.

"HEY! Watch where you're going, **XXXXX!**"

Ramona looked at the woman now standing in front of her. Recognition again flowed through her.

"Julie?" Ramona said.

Julie Powers **(Status: On her way to work… leave her alone!)** put her hands on her hips. "And how do YOU know my name?" she demanded.

Ramona stopped. It couldn't be. She whipped back around to look at Roxie, but she was gone. Ramona quickly turned back to Julie. "Umm…"

"Look… if you're done being crazy, some of us have jobs to get to," Julie spat as she pushed past Ramona and started walking away.

"Wait Julie!" Ramona yelled after her.

Julie turned around and crossed her arms. "What?"

"Do you know where Scott is?" Ramona asked in a smaller voice than she was used to using with Julie.

Something flashed in Julie's eyes, but before Ramona could think too hard about it, Julie started in on her. "Scott Pilgrim? That clueless lady killer jerky jerk? He's at his little **XXXX**hole apartment with Wallace Wells, I imagine."

"What?" Ramona's jaw dropped.

"If I were you, I'd stay away from him… he's nothing but trouble," Julie continued. Then she began walking away again. "Trust me," she yelled over her shoulder as she disappeared into a music store.

Ramona stood still for a long moment before being roused again by the voice of Roxie Richter.

"What?" Roxie said. "You didn't believe me? Typical…"

"No…" Ramona said slowly. "I'm dreaming… I have to be… there's no way this could happen!"

"I'm telling you…" Roxie started.

"NO!" Ramona yelled as she broke into a run. She sprinted past Honest Ed's **(Ramona Flowers Note: But… but…)**. She looked all around for a subspace door, but if there were any, they weren't where she remembered them. As she silently cursed to herself, she wondered if whatever cosmic event had been different had somehow affected the position of the subspace doors. After finally finding a cut across through Hillcrest Park, she bounded up those familiar stairs and went to knock on the door when someone opened the door.

"Sco…" Ramona's voice cut off in her throat.

"Can I help you?" Hollie Hawkes stood in front of her.

"Umm… can you tell me where Scott Pilgrim is?" Ramona ventured.

"Scott Pilgrim?" Hollie said with a smirk. "You're a girl… who wants Scott Pilgrim?"

"Yes?" Ramona said, suddenly very unsure of herself.

Hollie suppressed a laugh. "Well… he lives with Wallace Wells a few blocks that way," she said as she pointed north.

"Thanks…" Ramona was still confused from the entire exchange.

"Good luck," Hollie said as she closed the door.

…

Ramona was almost numb by the time she reached that familiar front door. She wasn't sure if it was from the cold, or the revelations that had been made, but she didn't really care. The only person who could stop this nightmare lay **(Ramona Flowers Note: From the position of the sun, quite possibly literally)** on the other side of the metal door.

She reached for the door. As she watched her hand, she could see it shaking. She drew back. What was wrong with her? She was dreaming… this couldn't be real… at worst she was in some coma with everyone gathered around her, and seeing Scott would finally rouse her and she'd be back home, with her friends. She knocked on the door.

A few moments later, the door opened a crack. "Hello?" a voice said from inside.

Ramona's heart literally leapt at the sound of the voice. "Scott?"

"Yeah?" Scott opened the door a little more, squinting into the sun.

Ramona didn't answer. She was waiting to wake up. After a few moments of awkward silence, Scott finally spoke.

"Umm… who are you?"

Ramona's jaw dropped. The words were like a white hot stake to her heart. And she hadn't woken up… this… this was real.

"I'm… Ramona Flowers…" she said softly.

"Oh… hi Ramona," Scott said with a smile. "What do you want?"

"You don't remember me…" Ramona replied.

Scott looked confused. "No… should I?"

"I'm your girlfriend," Ramona pleaded.

Something flashed across Scott's face. "Umm… I don't think so… but you ARE kind of pretty… hey… do you think you'd wanna hang out sometime?"

"What?" It was Ramona's turn to be confused. Even with everything she knew, hearing those words come out of Scott's mouth still jolted her. "But… we already have…"

Scott turned his head to the side, grimacing. "No… I don't know who you are, but I'd really like to know," he said.

"Fine… meet me at Hillcrest at 7?" Ramona finally said, flustered.

"How did you know I was going to say that?" Scott said.

"Intuition," Ramona answered. "And tell you what… don't be late… I'm not going to be late, and it's cold."

Scott smiled. "Okay! Sounds great! See you then!"

Ramona sighed as Scott closed the door. As she turned to walk away, she once again saw Roxie, who was shaking her head.

"Okay… I believe you… how do I get back home?" Ramona asked in a flurry as she walked toward Roxie.

Roxie just continued to shake her head. "You shouldn't have done that Rammy…"

Suddenly, Ramona was shoved hard into a nearby tree! As she tried to recover, she was smacked several times across the face. The blows stunned her, but she finally managed to block one of the punches and spin away from the contact. As she whirled toward her attacker again, her eyes went wide.

"JULIE?" she said incredulously.

Julie Powers was standing in front of her, fists up in a fighting pose. "I SPECIFICALLY told you not to mess with Scott!" she yelled as she rushed forward, swinging wildly.

Ramona easily stayed ahead of Julie's punches, but refused to counterattack. Julie finally managed to connect with a punch and then kneed Ramona hard in the ribs, driving the air out of her.

"You've got to fight her Rammy!" Roxie yelled from the sidelines.

"I can't fight Julie!" Ramona wheezed as she spun away from another of Julie's knees.

"Then you're going to die!" Julie screamed as she followed Ramona.

Julie continued to swing at Ramona, seemingly never tiring. Ramona dodged one punch, then another. Her mind was racing, but there was no solution she could see that didn't involve hurting Julie.

"You look like you could use help, Ramona," Roxie said.

"Then help me!" Ramona screamed.

"That's what I was waiting for," Roxie said under her breath as she drew her sword. Then she yelled for Julie's attention. "Hey! Four eyes!"

"What?" Ramona and Julie said in unison.

Julie didn't have long to be offended **(Julie Powers Note: Seriously… "four eyes?" I haven't heard that one since grade school…)**, as Roxie was immediately on her, swiping this way and that with her sword. "Need your little girlfriend to save you, Ramona?" she yelled.

"Ex-girlfriend," Roxie said through her teeth. "A lot like you."

Julie was about to reply with a smart aleck remark **(Ramona Flowers Note: What other remark does Julie know how to reply with?)**, but suddenly Roxie disappeared in a cloud of smoke. Julie looked with surprise at Ramona before Roxie appeared in another cloud of smoke behind her, stabbing her from behind with the sword!

Ramona was about to scream her protest, not wanting to see her friend impaled, but she was cut off as Julie exploded into a few dozen coins. Ramona could then only look on in shock as Roxie put her sword back in its sheath.

"Wha… wha…" Ramona stammered.

"What happened?" Roxie ventured. "What was that? What kind of place have you landed in?"

"All of the above?" Ramona replied.

"I already told you where you are… you're in the past." Roxie stated.

"A past where Julie Powers has lost her **XXXX **mind?"

Roxie bit her lip. "Okay… I may not have been ENTIRELY honest with you…"

The shock was too much. Ramona sat down on the ground. Roxie walked to her and sat down facing her as Ramona looked down at the snow.

"This is more than the past… it's an alternate timeline," Roxie admitted.

"Okay… that makes even less sense," Ramona said.

"This is a fan fiction of a story that was fanciful enough already," Roxie replied. "Why did you expect it to make sense?"

"Fair enough…" Ramona cautiously agreed **(Apella Zant Note: I resent that…)**.

"There's some event in the past that is slightly different from the version in YOUR timeline… and it's caused a multitude of effects," Roxie said. "Not the least of which… Scott is the one with evil exes this time."

"So… Julie was Scott first evil ex-girlfriend? I didn't even know they dated…" Ramona said.

"I'm not sure… I suppose that COULD be in that 'multitude of effects," Roxie said thoughtfully.

"So… how do I get home then? CAN I get home?" Ramona pleaded.

"You can," Roxie answered. "All you have to do is defeat Scott's evil ex-girlfriends, probably through making him fall in love with you all over again."

"Okay…" Ramona said slowly, trying to make sense of everything in her mind. "Who do I fight next then?"

"How the hell should I know?" Roxie demanded. "I don't know that goof's whole dating history."

A thought occurred to Ramona. "Wait… if this is an alternate timeline… will I run into myself?"

"No," Roxie said flatly. "Only one version of a character can exist in a universe. When you appeared here, this timeline's Ramona was phased out. I'd imagine the same thing happened with this timeline's Roxie."

Ramona digested that for a moment. She had a moment of mild curiosity at what her life would have been like with the effects of whatever difference there was between the timelines. For that matter, she wondered what this timeline's Roxie was like.

"So… let me get this right," Ramona started. "In order to get back to my own life and my friends… I have to defeat Scott's evil exes?"

"That's right," Roxie said as she started to get up.

Ramona looked back down at the snow. She said a mental prayer that the events of this timeline would change the parts of Scott's dating history she knew about from her own time. "Alright… so what next?"

Roxie offered her a hand to help her up. "Well… as much as I hate to say it, you've got a date with Scott Pilgrim to get ready for, so let's go to your new old apartment."

Ramona looked at Roxie's hand. Goodness knows she didn't expect help of this kind, but she was glad she had it. She took Roxie's hand and stood up, brushing the snow off of herself before the two walked off in the direction of where her old apartment had been.

…

What the hell just happened? I have no idea, but somehow, it looks like Ramona got blown into a completely different timeline. But, as always seems to be the case in my stories, that begs some questions. Namely… what event could cause such a difference as to completely switch Scott and Ramona's roles in the story? Why is Roxie trying to help Ramona? And did Scott really date Julie **(Apella Zant Note: *shudder*)(Ramona Flowers Note: You're tellin' me…)**? You know the drill by now… stay tuned to find out!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own the Scott Pilgrim story or any of the characters mentioned in this story. All original characters and lines belong to Bryan Lee O'Malley. This story is intended for entertainment purposes only. Any similarity to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Also remember… if you like someone, it is not okay to stalk them. It's all cute until someone gets slapped with a restraining order.

A/N: Wow… that took quite awhile. Sadly, life has been extremely busy lately. I've gotten tied up in other creative ventures and my editing team (read: my wife) actually got a promotion at work that takes up a lot more of her time. Since I'm not confident in my work unless she's signed off on it, this one had to wait quite awhile to be posted. But it's finally done… and hopefully you will now commence enjoying it. And maybe the next one won't take me upwards of two weeks to finish. Let's cross our fingers for that. :-)

Ramona Flowers vs. The Timewarp

Chapter 2

Ramona V. Flowers **(Status: Can't believe she's waiting at the top of these stairs AGAIN…)** patiently stood at the top of a set of stairs, overlooking Hillcrest Park. She'd been here many times, seemingly in another lifetime. She'd shared her first date with her boyfriend Scott Pilgrim here. And as she saw Scott meandering toward the base of the stairs, obviously not concerned with the time, it looked like she was going to do the same thing again.

"Wow… you're here?" Scott said in wonderment as he climbed the stairs. "I figured…"

"That I was too cool to be on time?" Ramona finished for him. "You guessed wrong, Scott."

"How… how did you know what I was going to say?" Scott stammered **(Scott Pilgrim's Mind Status: BLOWN)**.

Ramona cast a glance over Scott's shoulder, looking for any other evil ex-girlfriends coming to stop this date. "I'm like that sometimes," she muttered.

"Wow… beautiful… AND psychic," Scott smiled. "Double win for me!"

Scott and Ramona walked slowly to the swing set. Ramona's mind was still racing from everything she'd been through in the last few hours. First, being sucked through a time wormhole into this, an alternate timeline where some unfortunate event had prevented her from ever meeting Scott. Then, finding one of her most feared exes, Roxie Richter, offering her help. And finally, the events of just a few hours before, when a girl that Ramona had at least considered an acquaintance, Julie Powers, attacking her before being dispatched by Roxie. It was all a lot to take in.

"So…" Scott started, sitting on a swing, "why did you come to Toronto?"

Ramona smiled. She had thought about cutting to the chase, but Roxie was adamant that she act as though this was REALLY their first date. She tried to remember what she'd said. "Just needed to get away I guess," she replied as she sat down on the other swing. "Gideon always said Toronto was one of the great cities." The sound of his name in her mouth tasted caustic.

"Oh…" Scott said **(Scott Pilgrim Confidence Meter: ======1-)**. "Was Gideon your… boyfriend?"

Even though she'd been expecting the question, the idea made her throw up a little bit in her mouth. "Ugh… no…" she lied **(Ramona Flowers Note: So what if I change things up a little?)**.

Scott smiled **(Scott Pilgrim Confidence Meter: ========1 FULL METER!)**. "Where did you live before?" he asked.

"New York," Ramona replied.

"Oh…" Scott said. **(Big City Girl? Scott Pilgrim Confidence Meter: ====1-)**. "What did you do there?"

"It's complicated," Ramona answered **(Ramona Flowers Note: What the hell is that bar above his head?)**. "Where do you work?"

"Oh… it's a long story…" Scott looked down at the snow.

"Full of sighs?" Ramona ventured.

Scott looked at Ramona for a moment before slowly nodding his head. "Yeah… we'll talk about it in another book… but… are you a stalker?"

"What?" Ramona mentally cursed herself.

"I mean… you already know what I'm going to say… so you're either psychic or you're a stalker, right?" Scott had stopped swinging.

Ramona's mind raced **(Ramona's Mind: 150 MPH… or do they use KPH in Canada? Who can keep track of these things?)**. "Umm…"

"Cause that'd be cool," Scott said with a smile. "I mean… it'd be cool for you to stalk me."

"O…kay?" Ramona said as she kept swinging.

…

"So… do you wanna go back to my place?" Scott asked as he and Ramona walked down the sidewalk away from the park.

"Are you sure that's a good idea on a first date?" Ramona teased. She couldn't help the fact though that the idea of going back to Scott's was a bit exciting, if for no other reason than it showed she was being successful.

"Yeah… I mean… we'll have to deal with my roommate, but he's pretty cool about things," Scott said.

Ramona's face dropped. She had forgotten, for just a moment, that she was in an alternate timeline. Of course… Scott's place in this timeline was still the boy-centric hole in the wall he shared with Wallace Wells. "Okay…" she sighed.

A few minutes later they stood in front of a metal door that seemed to grow out of the snow. Scott began fumbling around for his keys **(Scott Pilgrim Note: No key… trying to think of another way out of this situation without arousing suspicion…)** as Ramona glanced back toward the street. For just a second, she thought she saw something black race across the lawn of the house across the street, but in the night, she couldn't make out what it was…

"Hello, friends!" Wallace Wells **(Age: 24, Status: Not drunk, but the night is young)** said as he opened the door.

"Hey Wallace… this is that new girl I was telling you about," Scott said as he gestured to Ramona. Then he turned toward her. "This is my roommate…"

"Wallace Wells," Ramona said without thinking. Immediately she grimaced.

"How did you know that?" Scott again asked, curiosity marking his face.

Ramona had to think quickly. "His name is on the mailbox," she pointed out.

"Oh yeah…" Scott replied.

Ramona looked at Wallace and thought, for just a moment, that his expression darkened, but in just a moment, he was back to his chipper self **(Wallace Wells Note: Chipper? I'm gay… not British)**. "Well… any friend of Scott's is, of course, welcome here," he said as he stepped aside, allowing Scott and Ramona inside.

As Ramona hung up her coat, Scott excused himself and went into the bathroom. Ramona looked wistfully around the apartment. It was exactly as she remembered, save the poster of the girls kissing. That was absent. Another consequence of the time altering event?

"So… how are things going, Ramona?" Wallace said as he sat down in his recliner.

"They're going okay," Ramona said absently. Then she paused. Something wasn't right. "Wait… Scott didn't introduce me…"

"No… he didn't," Wallace said with a bit of a smile.

"So… how did you know my name?" Ramona asked, her eyes narrowing.

Wallace sipped on a margarita that had been sitting on the table nearby. "I know a lot about you," he said. "Like how you're not really from this time… how you have to make Scott fall in love with you again, so you'll draw the ire of his evil ex-girlfriends, whom you have to defeat in order to get home."

There was a sense of dread filling Ramona's stomach. "How do you know that?" she choked out.

"Because I'm the second evil ex of Scott Pilgrim," Wallace said as he set the drink down.

Ramona's eyes widened. "WHAT?" she exclaimed. Her mind started racing, showing her images. Images that she had never, in her wildest dreams, wanted to see. She felt a wave of dizziness as Wallace stood up in front of her **(Wallace Wells Note: Seriously… that bad of a reaction? Way to make a guy feel loved…)**. Ramona backed away toward the front door.

"Hold on Ramona…" Wallace started.

"No..." she stammered back. "If you're an evil ex..." she clinched her fists, "then I have to defeat you…"

Ramona swung for Wallace, who ducked out of the way and began backing toward the chair. "WHOA!" he exclaimed, putting his hands up. Ramona closed her eyes and went for a spinning kick, but Wallace again crouched out of the way.

"RAMONA!" Wallace yelled. "Wait! I didn't sign up for this! I was KIDDING!"

Ramona stopped in mid punch, her fist literally an inch from Wallace's face. As Wallace looked nervously at her fist, his eyes rolled back and he passed out. At that moment, Scott came out of the bathroom.

"Guys?" Scott said as he looked around. Then he saw Wallace passed out on the floor. "Seriously… AGAIN Wallace?"

…

Ramona sat on a small wooden spindle **(Scott Pilgrim Shopping Note: Spindle was found in the dumpster… yay free furniture!)** and looked at Wallace, who was sitting in his recliner again, holding a margarita to his head like an ice pack. As Scott busily prepared a small snack in the kitchen, she leaned forward.

"Sorry Wallace," she whispered.

Wallace waved his hand and took another sip of his drink. "I shouldn't have joked like that. I know the exes are serious business, and you really want to get home to your Scott," he said.

"If you know who I am, why can't you just tell Scott?" Ramona asked.

Wallace shook his head. "It can't work like that. He can't find out who you are, because that will taint it. He has to fall in love with you, without our interference" **(Ramona Flowers Note: Why is this magic stuff never easy?)**

"So the others will know who I am too?" Ramona thought of Stephen and Neil, who would prove invaluable to her quest. And Kim… her one confidant. What she wouldn't give to ask Kim advice right now.

"No," Wallace said flatly. "But they'll be able to see the spark. You and your Scott have a spark of chemistry, and that DOES carry over to this Scott," he explained. "It's that spark that is going to draw the evil exes, and you need them to fight you so you can defeat them. But it won't be easy…"

Ramona thought of fighting Julie. "You aren't kidding," she said.

"Just remember," Wallace leaned forward to emphasize his point. "The exes are not your friends. They may look like them, but they are only out to prevent you from ending up with Scott, mainly because they all want to. They'll kill you if you let them."

"Wait… they'll look like my friends?" Ramona said, momentarily confused. But then it came to her as she looked at Scott. She knew who the exes were. She knew every one of them, if they were the same exes Scott had in her universe.

Wallace was about to answer, but Scott walked up to them. "So… what are you guys talking about?"

Wallace smiled. "I'm just telling her the horror stories of when you and I dated," he said with a grin.

"What? But…" Scott stuttered. "But… we never… huh?"

Ramona couldn't help but laugh, and soon Wallace joined her. Finally, Scott also laughed, though a bit more nervously than the others.

…

After saying her goodbyes, Ramona left the small apartment and headed back toward her own. It felt strange to walk alone, seeing as how she'd been with someone almost since landing in this timeline. She'd been with Roxie and Scott and now Wallace from the beginning, but she was almost thankful for the time to digest what she'd been told.

She was in an alternate timeline, and apparently she was going to have to fight Scott's evil exes. As she thought it, she wondered why Scott hadn't told her himself. Then again, it WAS Scott Pilgrim, alternate timeline or no. He'd probably forgotten that he'd ever dated anyone. But apparently, he was the key as well, because the only way the exes would come and fight her was if they sensed the "spark" between Scott and herself.

Behind Ramona, something small and black moved between the bushes.

Also… the exes would be friends of Ramona's, according to Wallace. She had a bad feeling about that. Already, Julie had attacked her. And if Scott's dating history was identical to her timeline's Scott, she would have to deal with Knives, Envy and Kim before it was all over with. Envy and Knives would be easy. She always hated Envy, and Knives, while not hated, wasn't really Ramona's "friend" so much as an acquaintance. But Kim… oh Kim…

The black shadow was gaining on Ramona, who seemed oblivious to its presence.

Why did it have to be Kim, Ramona thought. Why did it have to be the woman who had been her best friend since moving to Toronto? Then again… maybe that was one of the effects of the time altering event. Maybe Scott and Kim had never dated. Ramona sighed in relief at the mere thought of it.

The shadow was almost on top of her…

"Ramona?" a voice called from behind her.

Ramona turned around to see Roxie walking up the sidewalk. She thought for just a moment that she also saw a shadow fly into a clump of trees nearby, but it was moving so fast she couldn't focus on it. When she looked at the trees, it was gone.

"Rammy… what are you doing out here?" Roxie asked as she strolled up.

"I'm going home," Ramona answered. She wasn't really liking this motherly attitude thing Roxie was developing.

"You could have been attacked by an evil ex!" Roxie exclaimed. "They're not exactly looking for a fair fight, any of them."

"I can handle myself," Ramona sighed as she turned back toward her apartment.

Roxie followed her. "Still… two heads are better than one, right?"

The two walked in silence **(Ramona Flowers Note: Still a bit creepy, walking with Roxie at night…)**, Roxie with her hand on her sword the entire time **(Ramona Flowers Note: Bad word choice isn't helping matters)**. Ramona thought for a moment about what Wallace had said.

"Roxie… are you allowed to be interfering like this?" she asked.

Roxie continued to scan the night. "Of course. Why?"

"Wallace said that he wasn't allowed to interfere… that none of them were," Ramona explained. "I was just wondering if this is more like a League game than we think."

Roxie stopped. "Rammy… they can't interfere because they're FROM this timeline. But I'm like you. I CAN interfere. And as for the League game stuff… the rules here aren't as strict."

"Oh," Ramona replied. She filed away the question for another time though. There was still something about this she didn't understand.

As they reached Ramona's apartment, Roxie made a move to follow her in, but Ramona stopped her.

"What are you doing?" Ramona asked.

"You're not safe alone," Roxie replied.

"Yes I am… I'll meet you out here tomorrow morning, but you're NOT coming in my apartment. Not after last time," Ramona said.

Roxie smiled a bit. "Awww… you didn't like that?"

"Not now Roxie… never again," Ramona answered.

"Fine," Roxie retorted. "I'll stay around though… just scream if you need help," she added as she slinked off into the darkness.

Ramona sighed and went inside. It's not that she didn't want Roxie to be in the apartment… it's just that she still wasn't sure she could trust her, in this timeline or any timeline. She locked the door and walked toward the kitchen, not noticing a new shadow appearing in her living room window.

At the sink, Ramona washed her hands **(Ramona Flowers Note: How in the world do I have so many dirty dishes when I haven't been here? Is other timeline me a dirty slob or something?)**. Then, she saw out of the corner of her eye a dark shadow through the window. She glanced up, and this time the shadow didn't move. It was small, crouched on the roof of the house opposite Ramona's apartment. A long piece of cloth waved in the wind, almost 4 feet long. Ramona's eyes widened with recognition as the shadow began flying directly towards the window!

_CRASH!_

Ramona caught a kick right to the face that sent her flying into the living room. As she fell to the ground, the shadow was on her immediately, pulling her to her feet. Her eyes were blurred from the impact, but as they cleared, she could make out the face of her attacker. Black bob haircut… no colored streak, but she'd always thought it looked better without that anyway. Short stature, but strong.

"Hello Ramona," Knives Chau said. "Trying to steal my Scott?"

"I'm not stealing anyone…" Ramona choked out, but before she could get a strike in, Knives spun around her and kicked her hard in the back, sending her stumbling down the hallway.

"LIAR!" Knives yelled as she drew a pair of daggers **(Ramona Flowers Note: Knives' Knives. It's like a bad sports team or something)**.

Ramona turned as Knives lunged with her daggers. At the last moment, Ramona slammed her bedroom door, blocking the daggers and sending Knives back into the hallway. Then, she looked wildly from side to side, searching for any type of escape. Unfortunately, the daggers stabbed through the door, ripping a piece of wood out of it.

"You're not going to come between me and my Scott!" Knives shrieked as she kicked the remains of the door in.

Ramona looked at the window. She was in the second story, but she'd have to chance it. She broke for the window, ducking underneath Knives' wild swing, and jumped through. She hit the ground and rolled, whipping around to face her attacker. She was caught off guard though as Knives flew down into the backyard and tackled her to the ground! The two rolled around for a moment until Knives finally pinned Ramona to the ground, her daggers crossed over Ramona's throat.

"Looks like I get Scott all to myself," Knives growled, pushing down as hard as she could. "Good bye Ramona…"

Ramona struggled to keep the daggers away from herself, but she could feel her arms tiring. She didn't remember Knives being this good at fighting… maybe another time difference? **(Ramona Flowers Note: Damn this alternate time thing!)**

…

Wow… Knives Chau makes an explosive appearance, but is this the end of Ramona's journey already? God I hope not… otherwise, I'm going to have to fill the next few chapters with random stuff about Scott and Wallace. Speaking of which… how does Wallace know that Ramona's from a different timeline? And did they really date? **(Wallace Wells Note: Guess you'll never know, huh… ;-))** What will happen next? **(I'm guessing it'll involve Ramona and Knives, unless I really wanted to make everyone mad by making this story about a bunny named Tim…)** Stay tuned to find out!


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